Letter to my Mother

You have distanced yourself from the past and maybe you don’t know about the future anymore. But for me, you’re here in the present.

I still feel your mother’s love, with the certainty that it is more intense than before. You still give me shivers of happiness in exchange for nothing.

Your memories disappear, and I try to rescue them to bring them to the deepest parts of my heart. I refuse to let time be responsible for forgetting.

Waking up with you every morning is a gift. Seeing your smile as you raise the blind of your bedroom window, with your sights set on the sky, is like giving thanks for watching the sun rise. You speak of the pigeons that hover on the nearby roofs, close to you, as if that was the greatest event of the day.

For you, there is no routine, there is no hurt; you don’t even complain when you suffer. Even as you feel weak, your inner strength pulls you up to live.

I want to imagine what you dream when you’re sleeping, especially when I come to watch you in the early mornings. I see your silhouette crouched up in bed; and, at that moment, I want to convert myself into a fairy and sweep you away to a magical world where all of your loved ones, whom you don’t remember, are.

As tough as this illness is, I learn from you every day.

I’m fortunate to be feeling your moments; your laughter and even your tears are beautiful when you weep for the joy you find.

Thank you, Mother, for giving me so much love when you give me your hand, when you look at me, when you talk to me, when you weep…

Give me time to fill the well of my soul with all of your moments; I want to enrich myself with you. I will never forget you.

You have stamped every corner of my heart with the word “MOTHER”.

Marisol, Spain

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