Heart broken open

Marlena y and her husband Jim Canada

My experience with dementia over the past four years has been one of heart-break. Although still in love with Jim, I gradually became heart-protected and contracted with my feelings – like having my arms wrapped around myself for protection. I felt myself painfully and sadly emotionally moving away from him – even though I regularly visited him.
But, at a certain moment I made the choice and commitment to allow my heart to be broken open and invite in a new capacity within myself. I allowed myself to unconditionally fall in love with Jim again. Rather than resisting, I began looking forward to visiting the “love of my life”, to being in a heart-centered place of fully loving and accepting him just as he is now. He energetically responded differently with me – making eye contact with me in a deeper way. Small glimmers of ‘the former Jim’ showed up.
I felt his presence meet mine differently as we drove along in silence or listened to music together. I held his hand even though his response was not there. I allowed my heart to be full.

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