Letting go

Carol and her mother Concha Spain

Loneliness came to stay and I almost didn’t realise it. It was a loneliness that came as a friend, and then, over time, turned into the perfect excuse. Noise, out! Interference, out! It was a loneliness that only my mother could enter, where only my mother managed to make me relevant, where I forgot that I had matured.

My mother went, leaving me alone with my loneliness, one week after I whispered into her ear: “Go. I can do this by myself now.” She educated me to be independent, to be strong, and I forgot. When I remembered, when I remembered with my body and mind, when people around me reminded me….I let her go. And because she loved me so much, she didn’t go until she saw that I was ready.

They say that, in this life, we only have one mother. I had the good fortune to see the whole woman who, on top of everything else, was my mother – the woman who IS my mother. I am that woman.

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