This afternoon, I was with my father at the residence where he’s been for the last three months. He has dementia that is compatible with Alzheimer’s. It was a special afternoon. Now that I’m writing these words, I feel truly moved.
The relationship I have with my father has always been very powerful, and there was even a time when there was great misunderstanding between us. I’ve always known of the love he has for me, and the love I have for him.
Today he was not much of a talker, and in the beginning, I insisted on asking him a lot of questions. In the end, however, I’ve found myself accepting, accepting that it just needed to be him and me, sitting together in the yard of the residence, without the need to talk. I took his hand and he pressed it, hard. In other moments, I stroked his hair. There was even a moment where he told me, “Come here and give me a kiss, son.”
After, I fed him dinner, and I felt a very strong connection with him. It was almost like something feral, like a connection with one’s origins.
When I said goodbye, he said something like, “You have been the one I have loved the most in my life.” Then, he asked me: “When are you coming back to see me?”
I believe that the best way of communicating with them is to let them be the ones who guide you. My father didn’t really feel like talking today, and once I have respected that and just been there with him, the connection was direct. It was a connection filled with love, and the experience has had a profound impact on me and truly moved me.